More than ever, people are embracing a non-linear, multi-stage life as the new normal. To make the most of our time, we’ll need to build on our positive habits and create new ones. These are seven easy ways to do that.
Tag: Aging
I’m Ageist. Here’s Why That’s a Problem
In my early twenties, I was in line at a grocery store to buy a 12-pack of Pabst Blue Ribbon when a man in his 60s tapped me on my shoulder. I had my headphones on and connected to my Zune, and I hesitantly — and likely dismissively — asked what he wanted.
“Do you actually like that beer?” he asked me. I said yes, but mainly because it was all I could afford.
He then told me that PBR was the only beer he and his friends could get while they were serving in Vietnam. The beer being shipped over kept going bad, he said, and PBR was one of the few American domestics that the Viet Cong had stocked up on locally.
“And there was no way we were going to drink Budweiser,” I remember him saying.
I was so enamored with the story that my Safeway run-in turned into an hour of sitting in a Starbucks parking lot drinking cans of PBR in the Arizona sun. And I was shocked at how I had initially dismissed this man simply because he was so much older than me.
It’s estimated that by 2050, as the baby boomer generation continues to age into retirement, the number of Americans over the age of 65 will double to 83.7 million. The number of people over 85 will jump to 19 million in the same time period — over 400 percent larger than the same sector of the population in 2000.
Despite those figures, we are still surprisingly ageist. And the problem isn’t only with millennials throwing shade at boomers. Boomers have had it out for the young, as well. But what can we do to recognize when we’re being ageist? And, more important, where can we find similarities across all of the generations?
I realized I was ageist years ago. And even though I recognize my biases, it’s still a problem. I choose to live near Williamsburg, where younger people tend to live, and I actively seek out places where I know I won’t be the oldest person in the room — and at 30, that’s become an ever-increasing challenge in Brooklyn.
Most of my aversion — or, arguably, fear — of the elderly is backed up by science. In 1986, three social psychologists found that our awareness of the inevitability of death makes us afraid of our elders. The assumption, dubbed the Terror Management Theory, is that humans are motivated to quell the “terror” inherent in the human awareness of mortality by investing in worldviews that imbue life with meaning, and the individuals who subscribe to them with significance. One can argue that shows like “Keeping Up with the Kardashians” is an example of our perverse obsession with youth and beauty. And when we encounter people who are older than we are, we associate them with our fear of dying.
Another reason for our ageist attitudes may come down to how much time we spent with our parents as kids. According to different studies, our relationships with our parents help influence our attitudes toward the elderly.
That fear has trickled into the way we work with those older than us, such as passing on older workers to do more complicated assignments, or viewing age as a liability, where workers are “too old” or “overqualified.” Studies have also shown there is a perception that older work applicants are more pitied, or are given lower ratings scores in job applications when compared to youth of similar backgrounds.
It’s even affected funding for national science initiatives and grants.
One very visible manifestation of ageism is the way we communicate with each other. When speaking with an elderly person, if you notice you use the words like “honey” and “babe,” or if you speak slowly and omit words from your regular vocabulary, that’s a sign you’re being ageist. Social scientists call this lexicon “elderspeak,” and it’s similar to the way we talk to infants.
“Some aspects of elderspeak do compensate for natural changes in the cognitive skills of our elders. But most of the time, it is actually confusing and even harmful to talk this way,” reads a report from the University of Kansas’ Merrill Advanced Studies Center. “Most aspects of elderspeak actually decrease comprehension….These cultural tools do not have a basis in the science of communication.”
But just as we hold biases against those older than us, research shows that it’s a two-way street.
Ever wonder why millennials are killing, literally, everything? (Most recently, we’ve killed mayonnaise). It’s ageist media gold, and absolute clickbait that perpetuates the myth the youth are lazy and entitled.
“When we advocate for ending ageism against elders – while simultaneously writing off youth – we actually exacerbate ageism toward elders,” writes Laura Beck on the Eden Alternative Blog. “How can we expect youth to appreciate the contributions of older people, when we turn around and disrespect theirs? It only deepens the gulf between the two.”
So how do we solve for ageism between the generations? One way is to simply stand up for yourself.
“Know that you are worthy of honor and respect! Stand tall, feel your power, speak out,” writes Olivia Ames Hoblitzelle, author of “Aging with Wisdom.”
Advocates for seniors argue that speaking up for oneself might help others realize they’re using ageist language.
And don’t let your own limiting language set you back, writes Holly Parker, author of “Your Future Self.”
“Take a moment and consider what limitations you place on yourself because of age,” she writes in Psychology Today. “Have you ever thought that you were too old to do something that younger adults do and then stopped doing it purely because you accepted this belief?”
To combat ageism in future generations, studies have shown that some of the best ways to reduce bias is to encourage young children to respect their elders. In a study released last year, Belgian researchers found that pairing toddlers with their grandparents for quality play time resulted in more positive stereotypes of the elderly.
“The most important factor associated with ageist stereotypes was poor quality of contact with grandparents,” says Allison Flamion, a doctoral student who lead the team. “We asked children to describe how they felt about seeing their grandparents. Those who felt unhappy were designated as having poor quality of contact. When it came to ageist views, we found that quality of contact mattered much more than frequency.”
And, most importantly, recognize when you’re doing — or saying — something that might demean another person.
Take it from me: If you ever get a chance to crack open a few cans of PBR with someone from a different generation than yours, go for it. You might be surprised at what you have in common.
These Are the Four Things You Should Never Say to Older Americans
Drugstore shelves are lined with anti-aging products: creams to erase wrinkles, supplements to stimulate thinning hair, miracle pills claiming to restore damaged cells. If there’s one endeavor that unites us, it’s that most Americans desperately want to preserve their youth.
When people ask Kamili Wilson, VP of AARP’s Enterprise Initiatives and a NationSwell Council member, how they can turn back the clock, she has a quick answer: “You don’t.” People might not want to come to terms with their aging faces and bodies, says Wilson, but that’s just reality. “It’s a process we all experience, if we’re fortunate enough. How can we consider that an opportunity, versus a challenge that we wish we could avoid?” Disrupt Aging, a new initiative by AARP spearheaded by Wilson, is subverting long-held assumptions about getting old. Instead of waging war on one’s gray hair, Wilson suggests that we ask ourselves, “How do I age with purpose? How can I feel comfortable with the age I’m at?”
As Americans continue to live longer, the Disrupt Aging campaign points out that vitality can be found at any stage of life. But embracing that notion requires a shift in our collective mindset. NationSwell consulted with experts on aging to zero in on easy ways that everyone can rupture stereotypes in everyday conversation.
1. “It must be pretty depressing, watching yourself get old.”
“We’ve found as people get older, they fear their opportunities start to shrink,” says Heidi Sternheim, a brand strategist at AARP. “The truth is that age is no longer a defining factor in life, and the way we are aging now is a lot different than in the past. We’re staying healthier longer. We’re reinventing how we work and play. Yet we’ve found, through our own research, that most of our beliefs about aging have remained about the same.” In other words, growing older doesn’t have to be limiting, as long as you have the right mindset. “Aging is not about decline, but about growth,” Sternheim argues.
2. “Mom, women your age don’t dress like that anymore.”
In too many portrayals, older people wear oversize, scratchy sweaters. Their hair is unkempt, and they shuffle along with a cane. “The stereotype is that a person peaks in their career in their 40s, and heading into their 50s and 60s, they slow down cognitively and physically,” says Wilson. But to her, that couldn’t be further from the truth. All you had to do is pick up the newspaper in the past few months, she says, to see two “over 50s”— 70-year-old Donald Trump and 69-year-old Hillary Clinton — enduring a grueling election campaign. “That is one misperception, that there’s not a lot of energy, passion or enthusiasm,” she says. To that end, there is no reason for adult children to dampen their parents’ vivaciousness, no matter what form it takes.
3. “You’re just not what we had in mind for the job opening.”
Sexism, racism, homophobia: Most of us are familiar with these forms of discrimination. Less discussed yet equally prevalent is ageism, the wrongheaded belief that a middle-aged hire won’t adjust to a new workplace as well as a fresh-out-of-college twentysomething. For starters, tossing out job applications from non-millennials is illegal. And it may also be short-sighted, adds Edward Newburn, who works in AARP’s chief-of-staff office. “With age comes wisdom. Not to discredit [a young person’s] intellect, but wisdom is something that is acquired over time,” he says. “Younger individuals are still in development, whereas an older worker would have more concrete skills.” Another benefit of taking a closer look at a prospective older employee? “A diversity of viewpoints will have more luck reaching a range of customer groups than one age cohort alone,” says Wilson.
4. “Sorry to say, Dad, the nursing home looks like our only option.”
The nursing home is “probably the most dreaded place anybody can think of ending up in,” Newburn says. The cafeteria food, repetitive bingo games and medicine carts parked in the hallways all suggest a dreary end. Recently, senior housing has shifted away from this “antiquated, hospital-style system,” as Newburn describes it, to giving elders more choice about their final residence. One option is simply to stay in one’s home and hire nurses or other helpers to drop by daily. Another is to move into small communes. At residences connected to The Green House Project, a dozen elders maintain independent, private rooms but share kitchens, dining areas and other common spaces in the facility.
SO … WHAT IS OLD? LET’S RETHINK AGING
“We want to change how people think about aging — that it’s not based on a number, but on a person’s contribution and living the way he or she wishes regardless of age,” Sternheim says. Here are small, yet impactful, ways to further that mission.
1. “What do you want to do next?”
Life expectancy for the average American has rocketed up to 78.8 years old. That means today’s retirement age — partial benefits are available after 62 years old — isn’t an expiration date; rather, it’s another milestone, marking the start of a second career, an adventurous period of global travel or the continuation of a cherished hobby or academic classes.
[ph]
2. “Thanks for watching the kids tonight!”
It’s true that 60 million Americans receive monthly checks from Social Security. But not participating in the formal workplace doesn’t mean that older people are lazy. Just the opposite, in fact. “Grandparents play a critical role in the overall family’s responsibilities,” Sternheim points out. For one, they are often very involved in their grandkids’ lives, helping their adult children juggle work and family. During a prolonged illness, one spouse often cares for the other. And there are plenty of older adults who volunteer their time to causes they care about. “They’re not just sitting back and watching the Social Security check come in,” Sternheim stresses.
3. “What was it like to live through the Summer of Love?”
There’s no wrong way to ask about elders about their past life experiences, says Newburn. Questioning about specific events in history — “Did you watch or listen to the JKF-Nixon debate?” — or asking about life in general, pre-internet, are useful ways to bridge the generational divide.
4. “Here, I’ll set you up with a Facebook account.”
When we think of mentorship, we usually visualize a sage, older tutor imparting career advice to a younger colleague. But the exchange can go both ways, in what Newburn calls “reverse mentoring.” Young people proficient in the latest technology can teach their elders how to use FaceTime, upload pictures to Facebook or sign up for online classes. Sometimes, it’s a matter of starting with the fundamentals: bookmarking a few favorite sites or marking the buttons for brightness and volume.
By tweaking our expectations of what older folks are capable of, and what they’re interested in, we can help eliminate unfair stereotypes. After all, one day we’ll all be there.
Study: The Aging of the Population Will Have Unexpected Economic, Environmental and Health Benefits
As we all know, America’s population is getting older and older. According to the Department of Health and Human Services, by 2030 there will be 72.1 million people over age 65 in this country — more than double what there was in 2000.
Normally, following statistics such as this are comments about what this rapid increase in elderly people will do to the healthcare system and the labor market, but a new study published in the PLOS ONE journal suggests that it might also enhance innovation and produce other positive benefits.
The “The Advantages of Demographic Change after the Wave: Fewer and Older, but Healthier, Greener, and More Productive?” study, led by researcher Fanny Kluge of the Max Planck Institute for Demographic Research, finds a number of silver linings to the approaching demographic cloud.
For instance, the researchers speculate that the fact that these older people will drive less and consume fewer goods will lead to a decrease in CO2 emissions. “The expected reduction in the levels of carbon emissions due to population decline could be even greater if more environmentally-friendly technologies are adopted,” they write.
They observe that the overall educational attainment level of the population is increasing, which could lead to productivity gains that may offset the loss of workers. They write, “The higher educational attainment at the population level can be advantageous for economic growth.”
In an analysis of the research published in the Washington Post, Dominic Basulto writes that with more of the population enjoying greater free time, there could be a surge in innovators, inventors and entrepreneurs. In other words, we might have to change our image of college-age entrepreneurs working so furiously at startups that they can’t even properly eat to that of a more seasoned entrepreneur, launching a business at age 65 and staying active and financially secure in retirement.
“Life expectancy is increasing almost universally,” the researchers note, “and the health status of the older population is improving.” These are both good reasons to cheer up and look forward to America’s grayer future.
MORE: These Startups Offer Sleek Technological Innovation for the Elderly
What Do Toddlers and Senior Citizens Have in Common?
When most of us picture a public park, we see a vision of squealing kids climbing around on playground equipment and adults jogging and walking their dogs.
But UCLA professor Madeline Brozen, who directs the school’s Complete Streets Initiative, and her colleagues are challenging communities in the U.S. to form a new idea of how parks can contribute toward keeping a rapidly aging population healthy.
Anastasia Loukaitou-Sideris, a professor of urban planning at UCLA, collaborated with Brozen on an award-winning toolkit that advises communities how they can create mini “parklets” in urban areas without a lot of green space. During that time, she realized that seniors weren’t using public parks as much as other age groups. The team wondered if this is because, unlike some in Asia and Europe, U.S. parks are almost never designed with the needs of elders in mind — instead emphasizing playground equipment and ways for younger adults to recreate.
So Loukaitou-Sideris, Bronzen, and other colleagues are now working on a project that will investigate what seniors need from public parks and how to design parks in order to attract those in their golden years. They plan to pay particular attention to the needs of low-income, urban seniors who don’t have a lot of recreational options.
“What we are trying to do with this project,” Loukaitou-Sideris tells Sharon Hong of UCLA Newsroom, “is, first of all, find knowledge from different fields about what an open space or public park for seniors should look like, how it should be different for different groups of seniors, incorporate some of the voices of senior citizens, create guidelines for future such spaces, and hopefully even apply this knowledge towards the creation of a park.”
With the population of Americans aged 65 or older expected to double between 2000 and 2030 to 72.1 million, this kind of thinking about people who are often forgotten by city planners is a must.
MORE: States Are Working to Keep Seniors On Their Feet
How ‘The Golden Girls’ Can Help Solve a Problem Facing Senior Women
“The Golden Girls” went off the air in 1992, but many of us still remember the show about four senior women sharing a home in Miami, in part because there hasn’t been anything else like it on T.V.
It turns out “The Golden Girls” was ahead of its time in more ways than one, and that its model of communal living—with some good-natured bickering thrown in—might provide a solution to a problem facing millions of Baby Boomer women as they reach retirement age. One third of Baby Boomer women live alone, and 50.8 percent of the 78.2 million Boomers in America are women. Many of these single women are divorced, a situation that often leaves their finances in disarray as they head into retirement.
According to the PBS NewsHour, the median income of senior women in Minneapolis was $11,000 less than that for men, which gave Connie Skillingstad an idea. She runs Golden Girl Homes, Inc., which helps match older women in the Twin Cities with others who’d like to reduce loneliness and split expenses by sharing a home. She told Spencer Michels of the NewsHour that each of the women who band together as roommates offers some asset that can help the others. “For example, there are women who have no money, but they have a house. They have space and they can share it with somebody, and it will help them to survive,” she said.
Karen Bush, Louise Machinist, and Jean McQuillan are longtime friends in their 60s, each of them divorced, who now share houses in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Sarasota, Florida. The women reach agreements about cooking, cleaning, finances, and what to do should any of them fall ill. They have legal documents in place stipulating what would happen if any of them are no longer able to take care of themselves. Together, they’re renovating their Florida condo to allow them to age in place. Bush told Michels, “The whole setup that we have here is going to help me be independent for a long time. And at the point at which I can no longer be independent, I will have additional resources to pay for what I need.”
Half a million women over the age of 50 in America live with roommates who are not romantic partners. Now this sounds like a case of smart women banding together to solve their own problems. Could a sitcom be next?
MORE: Why Is This Doctor Telling Grandmas To Balance On One Leg While Brushing Their Teeth
These Startups Offer Sleek Technological Innovations for the Elderly
Whether we’re talking about Snapchat, Twitter, or Uber, most start-ups focus on technologies for young folks. But Katy Fike, a 35-year-old former investment banker who holds a Ph.D. in gerontology (aka, the study of aging), thought an important opportunity to offer innovative services for the elderly was being missed.
So she, along with Stephen Johnston, who once worked in the mobile phone industry, she started Aging2.0, a start-up incubator that supports businesses working on solutions to the challenges facing the elderly. Fike told Cat Wise of the PBS NewsHour, “The past products for seniors have been what we call big, beige and boring.” The inventors and start-ups working with Aging2.0 aim to change that.
Lively is one such company, offering technology that lets family members unobtrusively check on elderly relatives who live independently. Users place sensors throughout the house that indicate when the elderly person is engaging in his or her regular routine — walking the dog, going to exercise class, and taking medications, for example. If the user misses one of the regular portions of his or her routine, the Lively website will indicate this so a remote family member can check in to see if everything is okay.
Other new technology products targeted toward the elderly include BrainAid, a web-based application that offers memory exercises, and Sabi, a company designing walking canes, pill boxes and pill splitters to be more attractive and user-friendly. Through Lift Hero, elderly people can arrange for rides from off-duty EMTs and medical professional drivers so they know they’ll arrive at their destination safely.
Aging2.0 is based in San Francisco at The Institute on Aging, a nonprofit senior center, so entrepreneurs can learn from the people they’re designing for, and get advice from seniors such as 81-year-old June Fisher, a product design lecturer at Stanford and Aging 2.0’s Chief Elder Executive. “We see real potential to bring in the technology folks, bring in the investors, bring in the designers, because I think the more smart brains we have thinking about and looking for new solutions, the better we will all be,” Fike said. Now that’s putting our elders’ wisdom to good use.
MORE: Why is This Doctor Telling Grandmas to Balance on One Leg While Brushing Their Teeth?