A father or father figure can be one of the most important influences on a child’s life. At NationSwell we elevate stories of solutions that are moving the country forward, and these dads are doing just that — for both their own children and their communities.
When He Couldn’t Find a School for His Daughter, This Father Established His Own: An incident with her baby nurse left newborn Sarah Jane with permanent brain damage, unable to walk or talk. It was then that her father knew he needed to be her voice in the world.
The Hero of Kansas City: Restaurant owner Anton Kotar sees his staff as family. The father of three hires former felons to work in his kitchen and trains them in everything from culinary arts to parenting. “They need a chance,” he says.
Meet the Gutsy Dad That Started a Car Wash to Help His Son Find Purpose: In the autism community, reaching the age of 22 is commonly referred to as “falling off the cliff.” Government support cuts off and many people with autism face limited employment options and a lack of activities to keep them engaged. Entrepreneur John D’Eri wasn’t going to let that happen to his son, Andrew.
How Do Young Men Become Better Fathers? They Attend This Boot Camp: In New York City, more than half a million children are being raised by single parents — increasingly, single dads. This innovative city program trains low-income fathers to become better parents. “We want to stop this cycle that’s been going on in their families, because they’re training the future leaders of our city,” says program coordinator Raheem Brooks.
My Final Act of Service: As Marine veteran Anthony Egan struggled with terminal cancer, he spoke with NationSwell about what makes life worth living and the final lessons he wanted to instill in his son before he passed.
Tag: Fathers
When Families are Separated Because of Criminal Acts, This Technology Keeps Everyone Connected
Sure, there’s the adage, “distance makes the heart grow fonder.” But anyone who’s been in a long-distance relationship can attest that maintaining the connection is difficult — and a lot of work.
That’s particularly true of incarcerated parents who are separated from their children.
But a pilot program in Philadelphia is working to change that. For almost a year now, Riverside Correctional Facility (which houses about 800 women) has been allowing supervised video chats between inmates and their children.
This increased ability to communicate not only has the potential to enhance prisoner morale and family cohesion, but it also allows the parent to have more say in decisions regarding her kids. All of this is very much needed, which is obvious from this staggering statistic: Since 1991, the number of children with imprisoned mothers has doubled, according to Next City.
More families could soon benefit from this program, says Jessica Shapiro, DHS chief of staff in Philadelphia, and the technology could even spread nationwide this summer.
With the huge increase in incarcerated mothers, video chatting has the potential to revolutionize and greatly improve the childhood of those affected. Although parents in prison cannot be physically present with their children, and in many situations, social workers have to get involved, this technology does allow for more involved parenting and better outcomes for the family as a whole.
One family recently used a video chat to hold a “family team conference,” notes Shapiro. “A mother and grandmother who were both incarcerated, [and] the children and grandchildren were able to attend the conference at DHS,” she said. “The conference was so emotionally powerful for all parties that the facilitator had to actually stop the conference several times.”
While videoconferencing should not replace vital, in-person visits between inmates and their children, it does have the ability to increase communication, something that the general prison population needs— cutting down on wait times and keeping families better connected.
MORE: Born in Prison Herself, She’s Helping Women Break the Incarceration Cycle
Watch How a Group of Noncustodial Fathers Are Helping Each Other Become Better Dads
On the second floor of the Dawson Technical Institute on Chicago’s South Side, a dozen African-American men sit around a conference table discussing the trials of fatherhood. “I see some of me in a few of my sons. Mostly the bad stuff, but I’m trying to change that,” says Eugene Bradford, a father of 18 kids with 13 different mothers. Others around the table nod in agreement. The meeting is a weekly group-counseling session, the centerpiece of the Fathers, Families and Healthy Communities (FFHC) program, a nonprofit in Chicago that helps African-American noncustodial fathers play more significant roles in their children’s lives. Sequane Lawrence, who holds a master’s degree in community economic development, founded the program over a decade ago to help African American men with a variety of social services. In 2011, he decided to focus specifically on reconnecting noncustodial fathers to their children, which he believes is a key strategy to combat the cycle of poverty in African-American communities, where nearly 70 percent of children are born into single-parent families. “When a father’s engaged, they are better off. They graduate from high school, girls are less likely to get pregnant,” Lawrence says. “To put it in a more positive way, they become really productive members of their community.”
Bradford sought help from the group a few months ago after he missed child-support payments and, following Illinois state law, had his driver’s license revoked. FFHC has been working on refinancing Bradford’s child support and helping him get his license back, but Bradford says he has received more from the program than expected. He says the group sessions in particular have taught him to connect in new ways with a number of his children. “It’s been enlightening since the first day,” he says. (Bradford’s case — 18 kids with 13 mothers — is an extreme example of an FFHC father, according to Lawrence. The typical man who arrives on FFHC’s doorstep is in his 30s with two or three children from different mothers.) Since FFHC started three years ago, Lawrence says he has helped around 150 fathers manage child-support payments, find work and improve relations with their children.
Father Knows Best: Game Changers Share Their Favorite Advice From Dad
Father’s Day didn’t become an official national holiday until 1972, but fathers have, of course, been influencing their children for generations. This year, NationSwell surveyed some of the country’s most innovative trailblazers from a range of fields — including government, technology and nonprofits — to learn how fathers have inspired their lives and vision for renewing America. By turns powerful, touching and hilarious, they share both the professional wisdom and personal takeaways that continue to motivate them to this day.
“‘You should buy a computer.’ That was 1987. Purchasing the computer was my ticket to getting hired at SXSW in 1989; they didn’t have one and I did. So that advice was what launched my career with this organization. Of course, at the time I thought my dad’s input was crazy — and it took me about six months before I took what he said to heart. Dads are often a bit ahead of the curve that way.” — Hugh Forrest, director of SXSW Interactive Festival, the annual technology and innovation gathering in Austin, Texas
“‘Focus your career on what you think is one of the greatest problems you see in the world.’” — Ethan Brown, CEO and founder of Beyond Meat, a company focused on improving health and lowering the impact of climate change by reducing 25 percent of global meat consumption by 2020
“‘Be a voice and not an echo. Never compromise your principals.’” — Janice Buckley, founder and president of Heartbeat — Serving Wounded Warriors, a nonprofit that provides emergency assistance and therapy to veterans and their families
“My dad was a WWII veteran. He came back from the war and was able to benefit from the GI rights… One of his sayings was ‘hope for the best and work for it.’ He, like a lot of folks during that time… was a hard worker and felt you couldn’t take anything for granted. He would tell me and two brothers, ‘changed labor is as good as rest,’ which meant once you finish one job, you’re rewarded with another job.” — Pat Quinn, governor of Illinois
“I remember my father always reminding me that there is someone better than you, so be yourself and do your best. This taught me early on to be humble and not get too carried away with becoming like someone else.” — Brian Preston, founder of Lamon Luther, a home furnishings company that teaches carpentry skills to homeless men and women with the goal of preserving traditional American craftsmanship
“It was part of my parents’ purchase of an Apple IIe computer. He [my dad] said, ‘Play all the games you want,’ knowing that playing the games on the computer he purchased meant rearranging the operating system so that it, and the game I wanted to play, would fit in the narrow confines of the 64KB of RAM the computer contained. It often took me days or weeks to figure out how to ‘play’ a game. That led to a successful career in technology.” — Dirk Wiggins, founder of Code for Progress, a year-long program that helps people solve issues of social inequality by teaching them to code
“‘There is no substitute for hard work.’ My dad was the first person in my family to go to college, paying tuition while sleeping on his grandmother’s couch. He was determined to become a doctor and recognized that hard work and perseverance were the only ways to get there.” — Dave Gilboa, co-founder of Warby Parker, an innovative eyeglass company that embraces a buy-one, donate-one philanthropic philosophy
“‘You can’t go wrong by doing right.’ I’ve found this particularly meaningful in elected office because I make decisions based on what is right, even if it isn’t always politically expedient or popular.” — Sly James, mayor of Kansas City, Mo., named as an innovative mayor in 2012 by Newsweek/Daily Beast for his work in boosting economic development in his city, which has been dubbed a “Silicon Prairie”
“My dad taught me to be part of the solution to improve the lives of those around me. If you can change one person’s life, it’s like changing the world.” — Daniel Lurie, CEO and founder of Tipping Point Community, an organization in San Francisco that works to reduce poverty by awarding grants to the most effective nonprofits
“I am not sure that my father gave me explicit advice. His advice was through action. He was a teacher during the day, then he would come home and run his own business. He was a sub-distributor of Coca-Cola and a beer brand in our little town in Mexico. Whenever any of his clients needed product he would immediately get it to them. He became my model on how to respect people, provide immediate reaction and be proactive in understanding their needs.” — José de Jesús Legaspi, president of the Legaspi Company, a real estate firm in California that has converted 10 declining properties into cultural centers catering to underserved Hispanic families throughout the state
“My dad had two daughters and he told each of us to marry millionaires — and give him half.” — Maggie Lockridge, president and founder of Rebuilding America’s Warriors, a nonprofit that provides free reconstructive surgery to wounded service members and veterans.
Dads, Let Your Daughters See You Wash the Dishes
Who would’ve guessed that men doing housework could help determine your child’s success?
Alyssa Croft, a Ph.D. candidate in the University of British Columbia’s Department of Psychology, conducted a study whose results will soon be published in the journal Psychological Science. The findings? Girls who see their fathers pitching in on house chores — i.e. washing the dishes — are more likely to aspire to non-traditional careers like scientists or business leaders.
The researchers interviewed parents asking about their beliefs in gender roles and how they divided chores around the house. They also spoke with daughters about gender roles and what careers they could see themselves having in the future.
Croft found that the mothers’ and fathers’ ideas about gender roles did influence their daughters’ beliefs, but that a stronger predictor of what the girls wanted to be as adults was the division of domestic labor at home.
The daughters responded according to the dads’ actions, not their words. Girls with fathers who didn’t help with household chores were more likely to want traditional female careers such as stay-at-home-moms, teachers, nurses, or librarians. Those who saw their fathers helping clean, cook, and watch the kids dreamed of a broader set of jobs that were often higher-paying than those in woman-dominated fields.
“It’s very important for fathers to not only talk the talk about gender roles, but also to walk the walk, because their daughters seem to be watching.” Croft says in a YouTube video explaining the study.
“Despite our best efforts to try to create workplace equality, women remain severely under-represented in leadership and management positions,” Croft told the Association for Psychological Science. “This study is important because it suggests that achieving gender equality at home may be one way to inspire young women to set their sights on careers from which they have traditionally been excluded.”
So moms, let the dads clear the table tonight. Your daughter will thank you for it in the future.
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