If you were hoping to see women clad in bikinis and slinky evening gowns parade onstage at next year’s Miss America pageant, you’ll be disappointed. That’s because the nearly 100-year-old contest as we have all come to know it is no more. In its place: a more body-inclusive, #MeToo-friendly display in which contestants won’t be judged on their physical appearance. In fact, it isn’t even a pageant anymore, says Gretchen Carlson, who won the title in 1989 and now chairs the Miss America Organization’s board of trustees. “We are no longer a pageant. We are a competition,” Carlson announced today on Good Morning America. “We’ve heard from a lot of young women who say, ‘We’d love to be a part of your program, but we don’t want to be out there in high heels and a swimsuit.’ So guess what? You don’t have to do that anymore.” In an era where the #MeToo movement has given more power to women’s voices, the shift from a largely looks-based pageant to a competition centered on women’s talents and achievements is long overdue. In 1968, amid the backdrop of the country’s cultural wars, the women’s rights movement was on theforefront of protesting the Miss America pageant for not only its racial politics but also for the overt way it exploited and sexualized women. “Has anything changed since 1968, when hundreds of feminists gathered on the [Atlantic City] boardwalk to protest the Miss America pageant?,” asked Blain Roberts in an op-ed for The New York Times. “Yes and no.” It wasn’t until this year that Miss America announced that the organization would be led by an all-female team, after the Huffington Postreported that prominent male executives and board members, including the pageant’s CEO, were demoralizing women in emails. Now, with an all-women board made up of former winners, the organization is enacting dramatic changes. Even the organization’s website is getting an overhaul with the site promoting the upcoming “Miss America 2.0” and pushing the hashtag #ByeByeBikini.
“We’re experiencing a cultural revolution in our country with women finding the courage to stand up and have their voices heard on many issues,” Carlson said, in response to how the #MeToo movement has helped the organization restructure itself. “Miss America is proud to evolve as an organization and join this empowerment movement.” The news has sparked a debate online, with people on both sides weighing in: https://twitter.com/Grummz/status/1003978477798764545
We don’t watch men strut on a stage in swim shorts and score their appearance. The Miss America & pageant system is outdated. But, the swimsuit competition is actually tied to fitness. Girls train hard for it, that’s not something to discourage.
Judging a woman in her swimsuit during the Miss America pageant was nothing short of subjective sexism. Ask a contestant what they ate that week leading up to it. Good riddance.
— Angela Belcamino (@AngelaBelcamino) June 5, 2018
If you consider yourself a progressive parent, you’ve probably been riding the gender-neutrality train for a while, making a concentrated effort to let your boys and girls be … well, whatever it is they want to be. For everyone else, the rise of headline-grabbing movements like the Women’s March and #MeToo has made discussions around sexism, and the effect it can have on their children’s future, part of the broader parenting zeitgeist. Which is a good thing: Research has shown that children raised in egalitarian households are less aware of gender stereotyping at age 4 than kids whose parents endorse more traditional gender roles. By now, parents of all stripes pretty much know that old-school fairy-tales and video games can breed gender bias. But there is still much more moms and dads can do to keep their children from picking up on the social cues that lead to gender inequalities. Here, salient advice for raising kids who will push back against sexism, at any age.
THE EARLIEST YEARS: BIRTH TO AGE 2
What’s Happening: Babies’ brains are sponges, but not haphazard ones. Little minds rely on select experiences to fine-tune their social navigation. “Even before infants are able to physically mimic behaviors, areas of their brain are ‘rehearsing’ and mimicking behaviors they observe,” says Dr. Laura Jana, a pediatrician and the author of “The Toddler Brain.” “Social interaction between babies and caring, responsive adults — most often their parents — influences the connecting of neurons in the developing brain.” What You Can Do: For starters, keep you baby registry gender neutral. Otherwise you’re pretty much encouraging stereotypes right out of the womb. That’s not to say that dressing your daughter in a pink romper dooms her as a future feminist, but a playroom full of kitchen sets and dolls does send a certain message. Even subtle behaviors can impact your child’s future interests and actions. “Avoid defaulting to stereotypical gender-specific praise and descriptions,” Jana says. For instance, girls shouldn’t always be “pretty” and “sweet,” and boys don’t get to be “brave” and “strong” by default; by the time babies reach their first birthday, they’re already paying attention to these kinds of loaded words.
THE PRESCHOOL YEARS: AGES 2 TO 4
What’s Happening: Toddlers have been shown to demonstrate a preference for their own gender. They also tend to attribute more positive qualities to kids of the same gender and more negative traits to those of the other gender. “Figuring out categories is as fundamental as you can get in terms of cognitive processes,” says Lise Eliot, a professor of neuroscience at Rosalind Franklin University and the author of “Pink Brain, Blue Brain.” “It helps organize your experiences if things are similar, or not.” What You Can Do: Be mindful of gender bias come bedtime. Almost 60 percent of main characters in children’s storybooks are male (or male animals), according to a 2011 study in the journal Gender & Society. “Female underrepresentation in children’s books may contribute to a sense of importance and wide-ranging possibilities among boys, and consequently, a sense of unimportance and more limited possibilities among girls,” says study author Janice McCabe, an associate professor of sociology at Dartmouth College. Even well-meaning moms and dads may be desensitized to the over-dominance of male characters, especially if they are reading to a boy. In wanting their child to relate to the story, parents often don’t realize there’s a lack of female characters. “Discuss the absence of female characters with children as young as 2,” says McCabe. “By doing so, the inequality will not remain invisible, and you’ll also encourage critical thinking and media literacy.” The prevalence of male-centered storytelling could be driven by the notion that girls are interested in boy things, but boys aren’t interested in girl things — and that’s unfortunate. “Parents are afraid [boys] will lose something by being associated with girls so it’s not as OK for boys to read books about girls, as opposed to the other way around,” says Eliot. But that ultimatum is simply not true. Instead, try expanding your narratives. NationSwell’s suggestions: “Interstellar Cinderella,” about a futuristic heroine who prefers a wrench to a tiara; “Little Feminist,” a mini board-book series depicting notable femmes like Frida Kahlo and Rosa Parks; “Made by Raffi,” a tale of a shy, but ingenious boy whose knitting skills save the day; and “Clive and His Babies,” which tells the story of a boy and his two dolls (Clive’s adventures continue in a series of books about his bags, hats and art).
THE GRADE-SCHOOL YEARS: AGES 5 TO 12
What’s Happening: While gender stereotyping seems to peak between ages 5 and 6, just two years later ideas regarding gender roles become less rigid. That’s because at this age, youngsters tend to process information on a case-by-case basis, instead of the overarching group stereotype honed in their preschool years. By the time a child is 7, she or he realizes that femininity and masculinity are not hard rules assigned by gender. What You Can Do: Step it up as a role model. “Children in this age group are much more focused on their own world — their family and their parents’ ideas — than the external world,” says Richard Horowitz, a parenting and family coach in Palm Harbor, Fla. “It is crucial to shape views and attitudes during the elementary years.” But you can’t reinforce gender-agnostic values part-time. Take each parent’s job, for example. No matter if one folds laundry at home while the other trades stocks from a fancy corner office, treating each path with dignity ensures your kids won’t think one is more important than the other. When alternate opinions and media try to interfere, back up your assertions: While watching TV together, for instance, call out blatant sexist jokes (network sitcoms like “Modern Family,” “2 Broke Girls” and “The Big Bang Theory” are all guilty). “If kids can’t talk about stereotypes with their parents,” Horowitz says, “then they are more likely to be manipulated by mass culture.”
THE TEENAGE YEARS: AGES 13 TO 17
What’s Happening: The hormone soup is brewing, and it’s contributing to more than just teens slamming their bedroom doors and yelling, “Leave me alone!” Puberty is also a time when the feel-good oxytocin shoots up. This hormone boosts your kids’ proclivity for social bonding and cements positive memories from social interactions. What You Can Do: Encourage the socialization that teenagers crave, including their interest in the opposite sex. “Chauvinism begins with [gender] segregation,” says Eliot. “Each group starts objectifying the opposite gender and that’s where stereotypes come into play.” What’s more, when a boy doesn’t see girls in charge — whether that’s as the female president of his civics club or the de facto leader of his social group — he is more likely to balk at female leadership as an adult. Says Eliot, “If boys don’t have this experience, a female leader just ‘doesn’t feel right’ to them.”
As demonstrated by the current #metoo movement on social media, the words you use when speaking about sexual assault can have an impact on what behavior others view as unacceptable. In an effort to stay woke, here are three ways to reframe how you talk about sexual assault.
“I BELIEVE YOU”
When Liz Peralta, 24, was 6 years old, she says a man raped her. Beyond the actual assault itself, Peralta tells NationSwell that the biggest challenge was getting over how her mother seemed to blame her for what happened. “Up until I was 17 I felt like it was my fault. And I remember my mom — she didn’t intentionally mean it — but her reaction was, ‘How could you do this?’” Peralta says. “I felt like I did this terrible thing, but I was 6. To be scared and to feel alone, those words definitely resonated with me.” The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network also suggests using other supportive, sensitive phrases, like “You didn’t do anything to deserve this,” “It took a lot of courage to share this with me,” or “You are not alone.” Giving an empathetic response can be challenging to some. That’s because your reply can have less to do with believing whether or not an assault happened and more to do with how you were raised. A 2016 study found that those who place a higher value on obedience and loyalty are more likely to believe survivors of assault. But those who hold general welfare in higher regard place blame on the assailants.
“HE ASSAULTED HER”
“Animal Farm” and “1984” author George Orwell famously declared, “Never use the passive where you can use the active.” Grammatically speaking, it’s more effective to use an active voice than a passive one. (In other words, say someone did something to someone rather than someone experienced a something by a someone.) But how does that play into discussions about sexual assault? “We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women,” says Jackson Katz, activist and founder of MVP Strategies (which provides gender violence prevention education and leadership training) whose quote from a TED Talk last year is currently making the rounds online. “You can see how the use of the passive voice has a political effect. [It] shifts the focus off men and boys and onto girls and women.” In 2001, University of Kent sociology professor Gerd Bohner published research on the use of passive voice when describing sexual assaults in the British Journal of Psychology. His findings? Those who read passive voice headlines are less likely to hold assailants culpable.
“WHEN A WOMAN SAYS NO, I WILL STOP #HOWIWILLCHANGE”
Men can share how they will act appropriately and be allies to assault survivors by using the hashtag #HowIWillChange.
Guys, it’s our turn.
After yesterday’s endless #MeToo stories of women being abused, assaulted and harassed, today we say #HowIWillChange.
— Benjamin Law 🌈 (@mrbenjaminlaw) October 16, 2017
Adding male voices to the discussion about sexual assault is particularly powerful, considering that up to 30 percent of men don’t believe that rape exists,according to a study published by the University of North Dakota’s Counseling Psychology and Community Services department.