Tag: take action
3 Ways to Show Empathy When Talking About Sexual Assault
As demonstrated by the current #metoo movement on social media, the words you use when speaking about sexual assault can have an impact on what behavior others view as unacceptable.
In an effort to stay woke, here are three ways to reframe how you talk about sexual assault.
“I BELIEVE YOU”
When Liz Peralta, 24, was 6 years old, she says a man raped her. Beyond the actual assault itself, Peralta tells NationSwell that the biggest challenge was getting over how her mother seemed to blame her for what happened.
“Up until I was 17 I felt like it was my fault. And I remember my mom — she didn’t intentionally mean it — but her reaction was, ‘How could you do this?’” Peralta says. “I felt like I did this terrible thing, but I was 6. To be scared and to feel alone, those words definitely resonated with me.”
The Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network also suggests using other supportive, sensitive phrases, like “You didn’t do anything to deserve this,” “It took a lot of courage to share this with me,” or “You are not alone.”
Giving an empathetic response can be challenging to some. That’s because your reply can have less to do with believing whether or not an assault happened and more to do with how you were raised. A 2016 study found that those who place a higher value on obedience and loyalty are more likely to believe survivors of assault. But those who hold general welfare in higher regard place blame on the assailants.
“HE ASSAULTED HER”
“Animal Farm” and “1984” author George Orwell famously declared, “Never use the passive where you can use the active.” Grammatically speaking, it’s more effective to use an active voice than a passive one. (In other words, say someone did something to someone rather than someone experienced a something by a someone.)
But how does that play into discussions about sexual assault?
“We talk about how many women were raped last year, not about how many men raped women,” says Jackson Katz, activist and founder of MVP Strategies (which provides gender violence prevention education and leadership training) whose quote from a TED Talk last year is currently making the rounds online. “You can see how the use of the passive voice has a political effect. [It] shifts the focus off men and boys and onto girls and women.”
In 2001, University of Kent sociology professor Gerd Bohner published research on the use of passive voice when describing sexual assaults in the British Journal of Psychology. His findings? Those who read passive voice headlines are less likely to hold assailants culpable.
“WHEN A WOMAN SAYS NO, I WILL STOP #HOWIWILLCHANGE”
Men can share how they will act appropriately and be allies to assault survivors by using the hashtag #HowIWillChange.
Guys, it’s our turn.
After yesterday’s endless #MeToo stories of women being abused, assaulted and harassed, today we say #HowIWillChange.
— Benjamin Law 🌈 (@mrbenjaminlaw) October 16, 2017
Adding male voices to the discussion about sexual assault is particularly powerful, considering that up to 30 percent of men don’t believe that rape exists, according to a study published by the University of North Dakota’s Counseling Psychology and Community Services department.
NYC’s ‘Green City Force’
Growing up in Brownsville, Brooklyn, Edna McKay never expected she would one day have a full-time job in the sustainable energy industry. She lived in public housing where crime was very high…and opportunity very low.
But now McKay has a full-time job installing free, energy-efficient light bulbs for Franklin Energy to people in her neighborhood. “With this position, I’m earning more money than I ever did in my life,” says McKay, who earns $17 an hour.
In this episode of NationSwell’s 8-part mini documentary series on service years, watch how McKay transformed her future by participating in a program called Green City Force, which empowers young adults from New York City’s public housing developments with the highest crime rates.
“We started Green City Force in 2009 with the idea of connecting the dots between two major issues, youth employment and the need to transition to sustainable cities,” says Lisbeth Shepherd, founder of the organization.
The organization’s mission isn’t lost on McKay, who is now considering options that she previously viewed as unrealistic: “In the next few years, I would really love to earn a bachelor’s degree, because I feel like I’m capable of doing it,” she says.
NationSwell asks you to join our partnership with Service Year Alliance. Watch the video above. Ask Congress to support a service year. Do one yourself. Together, we can lead a national movement to give young Americans the opportunity to help bridge the divides in our country.
9 Strategies for Talking Politics — Without Picking a Fight
America may feel like a nation split in two, and in some ways, it is. Just days after the election, a Gallup poll found that a record high 77 percent of the country believed that the country is divided on the most important values. Recent incidents like a Republican congressional candidate allegedly assaulting a journalist and tension at town hall meetings suggest more heated moments are still to come. Yet it’s possible to debate the issues without getting ugly.
View Every Interaction as Educational
“If you want to have a conversation with someone who disagrees with you, you have to check your assumptions at the door,” says Lisa Cohen, a clinical professor of psychiatry at the Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai in New York. When listening to someone who has opposing views, approach the conversation with the assumption that you can learn something from them.
Avoid Blocking
To cool hot debates, don’t counter an argument with adversarial phrases such as “I disagree” or “but.” “That’s dismissive,” says Susan Heitler, a Denver-based clinical psychologist who writes Psychology Today’s Resolution, Not Conflict blog.
Ninety-three percent of Republicans are more conservative than the median Democrat, while 94 percent of Democrats are more liberal than the median Republican – up from 64 percent and 70 percent, respectively, two decades ago, according to the Pew Research Center. Since most people are so firm in their beliefs, trying to convince others to change will just put them on the defensive.
Stop Prepping Your Response
Just listen. Then reply. “I think a lot of times, especially on social media, people assume others have ill intent and the conversation just goes upside down, unfortunately,” says Edda Collins Coleman, co-founder and chief public affairs officer of All in Together, a non-partisan organization working to decrease gender gaps in political and civic engagement. One method for de-escalating tension during a curt social media exchange: ask a follow-up or clarifying question that demonstrates you’re attentive to what’s being said.
Foster Additive Dialogue
Use this technique from improv performers. Repeat a specific word or phrase used by the other person, then carry the conversation forward. Heitler recommends saying something along the lines of, “Yes, higher taxes are a serious concern for me as well, and at the same time…” or “The mistake the president made was surprising because that’s an area he knows a lot about.”
Channel Your Inner SEAL (Yes, really)
Try the 4×4 method, a tactic Navy SEALs use to keep cool under pressure. Start by expelling air from your chest for a count of four, then inhaling through the nose for another four seconds before holding it for four more. Sometimes you just need to take a break from the politically charged exchange or step away from your mobile device, says Collins Coleman, who teaches the strategy at workshops.
Open with the Right Questions
“Ask what they believe in, and why, and what’s important to them,” says Cohen. Alternatively, try this opener: “I’ve always had a very different point of view, but help me understand how you see this.”
Check your tone
Keep it calm and friendly — even during debates about serious topics like immigration reform or anti-terrorism measures. “People’s ears open when they’re feeling relaxed,” says Heitler.
Give It Another Go
If a battle becomes so heated that one or both parties walk away, give it some time — several minutes, hours or even days. Then re-engage by offering an olive branch through a bit of agreement, with something like, “I was thinking about what you said on the Supreme Court, and I very much agree about…” Acknowledging a portion of what they said, with a non-threatening tone, could provide the opportunity for a fresh start, says Heitler.
Channel Your Emotions Into Action
Trade an explosive confrontation for political gain. Direct your passionate efforts towards influencing members of government. Use social media (keeping in mind the tips above!) or make an in-person visit to a lawmaker’s office (which might prove even more fruitful). Or check out new platforms like the left-leaning Daily Action and Wall-of-Us, which suggest ways that constituents can take action by contacting government reps about various issues.
Homepage photo by Sean Rayford/Getty Images.
A ‘Good News’ Story From Flint
LaBria Lane spends her days inside the greenhouses of Holmes STEM Academy, a middle school in Flint, Mich. She keeps her hair and nails short, ideal for gardening and teaching children the benefits of eating fresh produce.
“Fruits and vegetables are important everywhere, but if you zoom down into Flint and talk about the lead crisis, vitamins in fruits and vegetables help to deter lead from storing in the bones,” says Lane.
Lane is part of a group of service year corps members who began working in Flint in 2014 — the same time that the city’s lead situation was making headlines. Prior to the water crisis, four nonprofit organizations took a coordinated step: They worked together to recruit and host individuals to serve as AmeriCorps and AmeriCorps VISTA members. Their joint effort resulted in higher numbers than they would have been able to achieve working alone. In the span of just two years, the number of service year corps members rose from 30 to more than 200.
This approach is now known as the “Flint Model.”
Because of the established service year force on the ground, Flint was better prepared to respond to the water crisis. Without these individuals, much of the aid received by the city might not have been effectively distributed.
“There are a lot of great people here who are actually here trying to help build the city up,” says Jessika Larkin, another service year corps member.
In this episode of NationSwell’s eight-part mini-documentary series on service years, learn about the Flint Model and “Service Year Impact Communities.” NationSwell asks you to join our partnership with Service Year Alliance. Watch the video above. Contact your elected officials and ask them to support national service. Do a service year yourself. Together, we can lead a movement to give young Americans the opportunity to help bridge the divides in our country.
MORE: Service Year: Retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal
Service Year: Retired Gen. Stanley McChrystal
In this episode of NationSwell’s 8-part mini documentary series on service years, retired Gen. Stanley A. McChrystal shares his personal experience with service — both in and out of uniform.
“Over the past few decades, we’ve come to equate service with military service,” says McChrystal. “In reality, service is much broader: education, healthcare, conservation. I’d like to see us expand that term ‘service members’ or ‘people in service’ as people doing the complete spectrum.”
McChrystal is the chairperson of Service Year Alliance, which is partnering with NationSwell to make a national service year — a paid opportunity to develop real-world skills while solving some of the most pressing challenges facing local communities — a common opportunity for all young Americans.
Service year corps members, including Peace Corps, AmeriCorps, and YouthBuild participants, earn modest stipends that are funded by public and private dollars. Occasionally, some members also receive money to pay for school or student loans.
As these programs face potential elimination under the current White House budget proposal, they continue to garner bipartisan support from voters and members of Congress. Local and national leaders, social entrepreneurs and members of the nonprofit and business communities are calling for service years to become a rite of passage for young Americans.
“Federal funding for national service is not where most of the funding comes from, but it’s essential. It is something that precipitates all of the programs moving forward, and so it’s a key part,” says McChrystal. “If the federal government won’t invest in young people — the most critical part of our nation — there’s no point in rebuilding our roads and bridges in America.”
At a time when our communities are deeply divided, studies show that service year alums are more civically engaged. They vote. They volunteer. And they purposely seek out friendships with people they didn’t know growing up.
“In communities across the nation and around the world, tens of thousands of service year corps members are already working to address local needs — making a huge impact on important issues such as education, inequality, opportunity youth, the environment and health,” says Shirley Sagawa, CEO of Service Year Alliance. “Imagine the impact if we unleash the energy and idealism of the next generation of young Americans through a service year.”
NationSwell asks you to join our partnership with Service Year Alliance. Watch the video above. Contact your elected officials and ask them to support a service year. Do one yourself. Together, we can lead a national movement to give young Americans the opportunity to help bridge the divides in our country.
Yes, Doing Just One Thing Can Help Save the Planet
Several high profile environmental disasters (the Cuyahoga River fire, an oil spill in Santa Barbara, Calif.) and a passionate level of engagement around the civil rights, feminist and anti-war movements served as the foundation for the first Earth Day in 1970.
As executive director of the Earth Day Initiative, John Oppermann sees a similarly heightened level of consciousness today. Social media engages likeminded individuals and influencers alike, while climate change-induced extreme weather drives non-environmentalists from their homes, turning them into activists. Here, he shares how being an environmentalist is much easier than you think.
This year’s Earth Day… Is the launch of a three-year countdown to the 50th anniversary of Earth Day, called the Count to 50. The purpose of the campaign is to channel the enthusiasm we see from citizens every year towards doing one positive, simple thing to green their lifestyle: making the switch to clean energy. By 2020, we’ll be able to quantify the impact by calculating how many tons of carbon emissions were avoided and how much money has been directed towards green energy and the number of houses running on it.
[ph]
Committing to just one thing… Ups the chance that someone actually takes action. If you give people a list of 10 things to do, they get bogged down in making a choice and end up not doing anything at all. Some participants in the Count to 50 campaign will install solar or wind energy at their homes. But for most, the best way they can divest from dirty energy is to call their utility provider and request to pay for clean energy. It’s a super simple process that takes less than 60 seconds. People can visit Countto50.org to commit.
The focus on switching to clean energy… Gives people positive action to take. We could’ve focused the Count to 50 campaign on meat consumption, which has a huge impact on the environment and is relatively easy to do. But we didn’t want to tell people not to do something. We also want citizens to do something that can be measured. When people move to clean energy, we have concrete metrics, which are motivating for others. One of the biggest dilemmas about any environmental issue is that each one is so large, no one feels like they can make an impact. If you pool everyone’s individual efforts, however, we can point towards much larger results.
Reporting by Chris Peak
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